The Rhythm of our Days

I left my glasses in the bedroom when I put Lena to sleep, so my screen is mega magnified and making me feel old. Did you know that your eyes hit their peak in your early 20s, and then decline? And did you know that for some women pregnancy can make the eyes worse? And that if you happen to get pregnant in your mid 20's, when your eyes may slowly be beginning to decline, that they may decline sharply and not quite recover? True story. For the first time in my life I actually feel I need my glasses and if I don't have them I feel fuzzy. I forgot them the other day when we went out of town and by the end of the day I was exhausted! Probably didn't help that we were at the national gallery and I was peering mole-like at paintings.

What the heck does my declining vision have to do with the rhythm of our days? Nothing whatsoever, except to point out that I have a lot of time to think about things like this.

If the standard big city rhythm is that of an african drummer pounding for an enthusiastic dancer, the rhythm in our little apartment is more like a babbling brook occasionally pushing a pebble. In particular, the last month has been molasses-like.

Between the intense snowstorm that buried everything, and a chest cold making the rounds, and no really pressing reason to leave the house- we rarely do. We try to get out for a little bit each day, longer now that everyone's chests are clear of virus. We've done the requisite snowman building, snow angels, rolling around in snow etc, but it's only fun for so long when you are 2 1/2, bundled up and can't walk because the snow is literally as deep as you are tall. For a few weeks the snow was too fluffy even for a sled! All this sounds like excuses, and maybe it is- but I intend for it to be more of a prelude into the quiet of our days. The quiet madness?

Each night we tell ourselves that we will get up earlier the next day- and most days we lazily cuddle and giggle until 8am. It's so difficult to get out from under a warm quilt and away from a warm baby to go write in a cold kitchen or do yoga. I'm always glad when I manage, but that doesn't make it any easier. We usually spend at least an hour on breakfast, taking the time to prepare a delicious and nutritious meal to share as we watch people scraping ice off their cars, fat bunchy squirrels running around, and teenagers trudging to the high school up the road.  After that, one of us tries to be productive, and this is where we've been struggling. We each work one or two days a week, so most of the time we are all here. You would think we'd get a lot done, or at least one of us would, but in fact some days it feels like neither of us gets a single thing accomplished.
Our mornings are usually for drawing, reading, tidying, baking and we try to get outside- at the very least so our poor Roscoe can get out!
Lena naps most days and that is a funny time. As she falls asleep, I have a list of all the things I'd like to do- but I know I must choose: yoga? write? clean? cook? sew? blog? study? waste time on the internet (HA)? We eat lunch all together again- often watching the same teens walking to school at the end of their lunch break. In the afternoons- more drawing, a lot of pretend play, maybe a short video or two (usually either live ballet, or some animated shorts of www.nfb.ca, OR a little game on pbs.org), sometimes a more 'official' activity. Then we start thinking about dinner, because we most often spend a chunk of time soaking baking or preparing something. We know our effort was worth it when Lena says "mmmmm, mom, you make the best ___ I've NEVER EVER SEEN!!!" or "Who needs dessert after THIS?" or "mmmm.... I just love it. It's pretty good".

Bedtime is looong- usually a lot of books read by Dad and a lot of cuddling with Mom- a lot of processing the day. It's such a great time to go over the positives and negatives throughout the day, to encourage one another to keep trying a little harder every day, to acknowledge and maybe apologize for the occasional short tempers, to firm up memories of fun and learning and love. I cherish those moments wherein we are forced to slow down, even stop, and just exist in this moment with this child- it's more effective than meditation for me! After Lena is asleep, I tiptoe out to do some of the activities I skipped during nap time- including burning my old lady eyeballs writing a blog post!

Oh well- tonight I will get to bed early because tomorrow is most definitely the day I get up at 630am to make pumpkin waffles and write. Smiley face.